Whoa, Baby!

By Rogan Smith |
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All Smiles - Baby Shower

My friend Cerys is expecting a baby.

For nearly nine months I have been subtly and not so subtly trying to convince this heifer to name her daughter after me and have been referring to this child as “Baby Ro” every chance I get.

With her due date imminent, I am losing hope that the baby will share this glorious name of mine because, quite frankly, Cerys ain’t on my run. But as they say in show business, it ain’t over ‘til Cerys’ water breaks . . . or something to that effect.

She recently invited me and a few of our friends to party with her at her baby shower. It was soooo good. Baby showers can be so boring and predictable. I swear, If I change one more diaper with Snickers mashed up inside to resemble poop, I am gonna poop a Kit Kat.

But, I was happy to hang with the coolest people ever and play some fun games.

I knew this was the place for me when I walked in and saw the spinach dip. I swear, that has got to be one of the best appetizers ever invented. The food was great.

The games were super fun. There was one game where you couldn’t say the words “baby” or “girl.” My evil friend, Daynell, used her powerful sorcery to get me to say, “girl” and I lost all of my pink clothespins. However, because God don’t like ugly, or as we say in The Bahamas, oglee, she lost all of her pins to our friend, Thea by accidentally using the same word. #LookAtGod

Peep the photos from the Little Mermaid-themed shower.

Leg Up - Baby Shower
Getting a leg up. Me, Kenya, Daynell aka “The Sorcerer” and Thea aka “The Quiet Savage.” Don’t mind Thea looking innocent, there are weapons under that outfit. 
Picture Frame - Baby Shower
Get the picture? Cerys is radiant in the middle. I can’t wait to meet Baby Ro. Yes, I am delusional. Please leave me alone in my delusions. #PleaseAndThankYou
Rogan and Cerys
Me and my buddy. The insults fly between us on the daily. But, I love this woman so much.
Thea Rogan Kenya
Thea, me and Kenya. Look at Kenya’s pop of color. Love it!! Kept my purse on the entire time because ya never know who is t’ief. 


Rogan and Amy
Bah-dum, booed up. Biddy bah-dum, booed up. When me and this crazy gyal get together, there’s no telling what’s gonna go down. Shout out to my girl, Amy for rocking this “I’m all the black woman” afro.
The Look
Hey, why is this psycho pregnant girl giving me side glances? I don’t like the tone of that look. 

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