Top 10 Relationship Killers

By Rogan Smith |
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As a heterosexual woman, I can tell you that men are the greatest things God put on the earth. There’s nothing like a man who is protective, kind, ambitious, good looking and takes care of himself. And if you happen to be in a relationship with that person, it’s even better. 

One of the most annoying and frustrating things a man can do is lure a woman into a relationship only to change drastically once they get together. 

We’ve heard horror stories of men who were so dreamy and selfless, but the minute they got a girlfriend we saw the real them – nightmarish narcissists. Then, there are stories of guys who were incredibly attentive and generous with the gifts only to transform into non-communicative misers once they got married. 

I have put together a list of 10 relationship killers that annoy women to no end. 

Letting Yourself Go

When you first meet someone, all you want to do is impress them – to show them how perfect you are. You go out of your way to make sure you’re properly groomed, not a hair out of place. You may even be a regular gym member who likes to keep your body toned and tight. But, as the relationship continues on, you may start to get a little too comfortable and start to let yourself go. 

As a woman, I can tell you that we love to show off our partners, especially if they look good. So, if we’re not showing you off, chances are we may be a bit embarrassed by your appearance. A beer gut is not sexy. In fact, it’s unhealthy. And if it hangs over your penis, that’s even worse. 

The gorgeous Idris Elba.

Poor Hygiene

Bad breath, unkempt nails and body odors are never a good look. In fact, they are a massive turn off. Many couples find themselves on the outs because one partner doesn’t pay attention to their hygiene. There is never an excuse to not brush your teeth, bathe or trim your nails. But somehow some guys feel a woman should love him unconditionally. Love is one thing. Respect and desire are another. 

Women see gorgeous, well-groomed guys every day. The last thing you want is for her to be stacking you up against the guy she met in the bank. Women fantasize a lot and when we do, you can bet we’re not fantasizing about the guy with bad breath, dirty fingernails and armpit stains on his shirt. 

Bad Breath Epidemic
Killing me softly. (Illustration/Rashad Cash of Think Light Studios)

Whack Sex Life

I have no idea who lied to men and told them that women don’t have sexual desires. Women crave sex. More than they care to admit. And just like men, they get bored when sex is routine, unimaginative or thoughtless. No one wants to be on autopilot. Women also don’t want men who act like they are doing them a favor when performing oral sex. Think of it this way. If a woman were performing oral sex on you, would you want her to be quiet and act like she wasn’t enjoying it or would you want her to give you the enthusiastic porn star treatment? Ok, so, when you go down on your girlfriend or wife, do so enthusiastically. If not, she might get someone who will.  

Nope, not like that, Tim.

No Ambition

Women want to be with winners. I have never, in all my years, heard a woman say, “In five years, I see myself with a house, three kids and a loser.” Nope, women aren’t wired like that. They want a man who handles business – one who says he’s going to do something and actually does it. No woman wants to be in the same position she was in two years ago. She wants to experience growth. And if the man she’s with isn’t helping her grow, he is holding her back. Major buzz kill. 

Poor Communication 

There’s a reason this gem keeps popping up on the lists. It’s because it’s true. Couples who don’t communicate die a slow and painful death. In most relationships, there is always one partner who is naturally more communicative. They do a lot of heavy lifting in the relationship. But, they are not responsible for the entire relationship. Having a man who broods, is non-confrontational and non-communicative will surely send the relationship to an early grave with no headstone. Relationships cannot thrive in a healthy way like that and one partner always ends up resenting the other. 

Mr. Know-It-All

Don’t you just hate a know-it-all? A man who thinks he has the answers for everything is annoying to say the least, especially if he doesn’t know much. Newsflash guys: women are smart and know more than you sometimes. Dealing with a man like that can be intolerable and may even lead to a breakdown in communication because the woman doesn’t want to have even the most basic discussion with him. It may help if the man listens every now and then. It may also help if he actually entertains the thought that he just may be wrong. 

A Total Narcissist 

It’s All About Me. That’s the narcissist’s pledge of allegiance if I’ve ever heard one. Dating or being married to a narcissist is an emotionally and mentally draining, never-ending rollercoaster. The narcissist is never satisfied by anything you do and constantly needs be the center of attention. You will find yourself constantly apologizing in the relationship even when it is you who has been wronged. It’s really an abusive relationship that will leave you completely broken. Needless to say, it’s a top relationship killer. 

A Big Fat Meanie

Women like men who are generous with their time and their money. Do not for one second mistake her for a gold-digger. Gold-diggers are a different beast altogether. They require men to be generous with their money. A woman doesn’t want to feel like she always has to slip her hand in her purse to pay for everything. And she definitely doesn’t want to feel like you are counting everything that you pay for. A woman who finds herself in that situation may end up not asking a man for anything and not being as generous to him either. 

Ignoring A Woman’s Concerns

Women tend to be very vocal creatures. You don’t have to guess what they’re thinking. They will tell you. So, when a woman tells you that she has a deep concern – it could be about money, the relationship, health, it affects her negatively when you ignore her. Some men may take her constant reminders as nagging, but she wouldn’t have to constantly remind them if they would act quickly. No woman wants to be regarded as a nag. So, using that dreaded word may cause her to shut down completely. It may also hurt the relationship in the long run and allow small things to become big things. 

Not Making Her A Priority

One of the biggest complaints I hear from women is that they don’t feel like a priority. I’m no exception. I’ve felt that way, too. When a man makes you a priority, what he’s saying is, you’re #1. It’s not enough to say your lady is a priority. You have to show her. Showing her may mean responding to her texts quickly rather than leaving her lingering for hours. It may mean calling her to check on her and make sure she’s ok. If she’s sick, you might consider staying home for a day to take care of her. It may also mean skipping out on a night with the boys in order to be with her. Women have great memories and when row day comes, as it inevitably will, she will remember the sacrifices you made to make her a priority. Remember, if you don’t make her a priority, someone else will. 

Naturally, this is not an exhaustive list. There are so many relationship killers it’s a wonder many are still standing.

Let me know what you think about this list and give me some relationship killers of your own. Thanks for reading!


This Bahamian Gyal

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15 Replies to “Top 10 Relationship Killers”

  1. Hit the nail on the head! A really good read. I love the illustration by Think Light studios! That was too funny lol.

  2. I agree with this post and from a woman perspective it makes sense while 99.99% of what you said is true women have to look at what causes a man to do somethings…alot of times we lose intrest because some women get clingy and when they do some men take it for granted and don’t feel the need to go overboard in certain areas anymore because that little inner man doesn’t see or feel a challenge anymore…..I will say this and don’t judge me for it but a prostitute sells her body and to be honest the same man will buy her every night for years knowing that he might never marry her but will sleep with her time and time again because you see that prostitute knows that if she wants him to keep spending money there are certain things that she will have to do and say, as a pro she will take the time to figure out all of his strengths and weaknesses then capitalize on them, the same goes for a girlfriend or a wife if you want that man to stay the same or be what you will like him to be get to know him and when I say get to know him I meant him and not about him ……..him. I will admit that some guys just don’t know how to genuinely treat a woman because of his up bringing and get what he tries to portray from TV this is where getting to know HIM comes in, I always say anything that seems too good to be true it probably is, if a guy is doing all the right things and not one wrong something isn’t right because he is saving the wrong for later everyone has some wrong in them, but get to know his strengths and weaknesses then capitalize on them because just how a man can loose intrest and let himself go a woman can to.

    1. Thank you so much for this response. I think you are on point with many things. However, as it pertains to the prostitute comparison. The prostitute is providing a service. It’s not love. She may care for the man, but it is not love. The minute that man’s money dries up, she will leave because the relationship is transactional. But, in a relationship, if the man is down and out, the woman – if she’s a good woman and has felt your love and support -will stand by your side. Many women want the basics…love and affection. Sadly, men get too comfortable and forget to provide these things. You said a mouthful and it was VERY interesting to read. Thank you so much!

      1. You ever heard the saying “A lady in the street but a freak in the sheet?….my prostitute scenario was just to show the way we men are wired ….it dosen’t take much to get our attention but we like different challenges at times and anytime a man get to comfortable help a brother out with a little reminder……there is something about a woman that a man loves even tho it probably will lead to sex the journey there is what makes it so much more important……

        1. I understand what you’re saying. But, there are men who aren’t like you. They may take a woman’s reminder as her nagging. That’s the crazy part. But, I hear you loud and clear. 🙂

  3. Very entertaining , thought provoking and on point. Unfortunately, guys who have to be reminded of these pointers are doomed from day one.
    I can’t wait to read your thoughts on the ladies.

    1. You know something, Fred? You are right. They are doomed from day one. It is sad. However, a lot of the behaviours don’t manifest from day one. They show up over time. I believe many women would have run in the other direction if that had happened.

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