Happy Birthday To Me!

By Rogan Smith |
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Rogan Big Happy Smile

Go, go, go, go, go shawty, it’s your birthday. We gon’ party like it’s your birthday.

I swear, the only thing that would have made this birthday celebration better is if 50 Cent had come through in all his capped teeth glory to bless ya girl with a live performance and a juicy kiss. Oh, and I don’t care if you tell my hubby, who, by the way, has put me on notice that he would promptly dump me if singer Tamia ever became available.

I’m not big on birthdays, but something must have been in the air this year. I really just wanted to get out and hang with my friends.

Group of friends at the table.
This may be the only sensible photo we took that night. The moment before a bunch of hungry black people destroy the buffet.

I tend to be very low maintenance when it comes to birthday celebrations. I hate celebrating just because that’s what you’re expected to do. But, whenever I’m given an excuse to be with my people, I jump at the chance.

Roagn and Stephen - Leg Up
Here I am with Stephen. The only person in the world who matches me in doing foolishness. He struggled to get that leg up.

This year, me and few of my closest friends went to Baha Mar’s Regatta to celebrate my special day, which by the way was August 29th – Virgo all day, erry day!

Crowd Talk
Here are my friends, Donovan and Stephen arguing over why I’m the best person in the world. Donovan (left) challenges Stephen to name a better person. Stephen is stumped.

I can honestly say that I truly enjoyed every minute of it. These fools had me cracking up.

Laughter 1
I think someone asked if I were handling the bill. Dine n’ Dash here I come.

I have been to parties before where the photos made it look like people were having fun, but in reality, it was much different and way more boring. This wasn’t the case.

I hand selected the people who would party with me. There were no divas. No “I’m too cool to be here right now-ers” and no trouble makers.

This will go down as one of my most memorable birthdays. I thank God for all of my blessings and for giving me some incredible friends, who have become like family.

Enjoy the shenanigans with these scoundrels and scallywags!

Kendea Explains To Cush
My friend, Kendea explains why I’m the wind beneath her wings, her mentor, idol and the mother, sister, aunt, dentist and carpenter she always wanted. Macushla, shown right, agrees as she listens attentively.
Thea Coleby
My beautiful friend, Thea, whom I mistreat on a daily basis. Doesn’t she look regal? But, she’s evil. Don’t let the innocent ballerina bun fool you. Somewhere up in that top knot is a razor blade.
Who Will It Be?
The Happy Birthday song may very well be my favorite song . . . next to Biggie Smalls’ Ten Crack Commandments.
Rogan's Cake
They cut off my face and pasted it on this cake. Hey! Is that a double chin?! Well, at least it’s accurate. Peep that afro and gold hoops.
Blowing Out Candles
Those damned trick candles. I must have blown them out 4,598 times. Had to eventually pour water on them to put them out.
All Eyes On Me
All eyes on me. Look at Devano and Ebonique! That’s what you call focus.
The First Piece
The First Piece! Devano and Ebonique share the first piece of cake. I love these people. We insult each other on a daily basis. Ahhh, now that’s what you call true friendship.


Cake To Cush
Cushla, one of my besties, gets the second piece of cake. Here she is smiling through her hurt. You just KNOW she wanted the first piece.
Rogan and Chakita
My baby/friend/sister, Chakita. She is my friend, but like my sister. I love this woman to death. She shared the second piece of cake with Macushla. However, she wasn’t around to get her cake because she was too busy hitting the buffet for lamb. Greedy bastard!
My other bestie, Tosheena smiles through the 615th piece of cake. She later wrote in my book that she was mad she didn’t get the 1st piece.


KJ And The Foil
Kendea packs up her cake in foil, or as we say in The Bahamas, furl. Leave it to black people to find foil in an upscale restaurant. I see you packing it up, too, Macushla!
Torrell The Furl
She ain’t the only one. My wonderful photographer, Torrell Glinton is no better. These toters ain’t got no shame. Torrell, you should be leading by example!
Rogan and Torrell
Beauty and the Beast. Now, ordinarily I would be the beast due to my animal-like features. But, because Torrell is a BEAST with that camera, he gets that honor. That man has mad talent!! He’s so bad, he took this photo and then ran behind the lens to pose for the pic.
Interviewing Stephen
Here I am interviewing Stephen. I wanted to know how he felt to NOT receive the first piece of cake. He politely told me that the fourth piece of cake is the tastiest.
Laughter 2
Had to get the pregnant lady in this pic. Shout out to my girl, Cerys, who went to her award show that evening and later rushed over to the restaurant to celebrate with me. What a sweetie pie. Plus, she agreed to name her baby daughter, Rogan. Of course there was one condition: Hell has to freeze over. I’m monitoring the weather down below daily. Baby Ro is depending on me.
Rogan arms outstretched
And that’s a wrap. Come back now, ya hear?


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17 Replies to “Happy Birthday To Me!”

  1. These captions have me in tears! I’m just trying to figure out if you’ve always been delusional or if that came along with age and gray hairs. Lol! ‘‘Twas a great night. You are truly blessed to have me. Love ya! ?

    1. Thank you,Cerys. Soooo, what I’m hearing is, you love me and you will name the baby, Rogan? By the way…I haven’t seen the word Twas since Christmas. So, what I’m also hearing is that you will be buying me a Christmas gift. I basically hear what I wanna hear.

  2. It was a great birthday party with a lot of fun with good people! Only us can find furl in an upscale restaurant but it was for the huge and delicious cake! Would love to do it again!

    1. Thank you so much, Kendea! A good time was had by all. Thank you for joining me and to answer your question, yes…I will mentor you. You’re welcome.

  3. So….I’ve looked through these photos like 100 times and I still don’t see a photo with me and you alone…smt..But then I remembered that I spent most of the evening pigging out at the buffet and jonesin’ for furl cuz I had to make sure Stephen was straight with his midnight snack. LOL. It was an awesome evening with genuine fun, laughter, and most importantly – a beeig chocolate cake!!!

    Cheers to you, more gatherings with furl in high-end restaurants and of course those priceless Rogue convos!!!!!

    1. Hahahaha…Keesha, my love! No, we didn’t get one together. But,this is just the beginning. We will have many opportunities to take snaps! Thank you again for celebrating with me! Smooches.

  4. Rogan thanks for a fun filled evening… (my leg is up now by the way) …. we shall be meeting again soon around similar tables .. cheers to erryone who was there …. HI Keesha,and everyone from my table…

  5. Looked like a wonderful night… sorry I missed it, babes. Love the photos. Torrell did a great job. We need to catch up soon.

    1. Hi Jamise!!! Yeah, gyal. I right here. Thank you so much for the well wishes. I appreciate you so much! Be sure to have a look around the blog before you leave.

  6. Rogan!!! These captions have me rolling! Especially the one about the razor blade & the hysterical caption under your photographer! =D You are one creative, hilarious gyal. I’ve always been impressed by your writing and really loved reading through all of your blogs! Stay just the way you are, ALWAYS, my darling. You’re amazing!!!! Happy*Birfday my sweet love! (i already told you on your *actual* Birthday, but i had to say it again of course lol)

    Love you! 🙂

    1. Shayla! Thank you so much for your support. I hope to keep making you laugh, gyal. Keep coming back and be sure to tell your friends!

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