It’s 2025, isn’t it time we stop shaming people for getting and looking older and start embracing aging?
Throughout history, people have likened youth to vibrancy, desirability, likability and success.
Being young and beautiful has done more than make people attractive. It’s provided financial benefits and opened doors that many often find closed. There’s even a term for it – pretty privilege.
Of course, it doesn’t help that social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok have not only created a landscape to broadcast beauty, but have validated it through likes, shares and comments.
But, what happens when your beauty fades with age?
The Movie, The Substance And Themes Around Aging
I recently sat down and watched the movie, The Substance with Demi Moore. I didn’t get the hype when it was first released, but after watching it, I realised there were a lot of great gems in there, particularly as it relates to aging.
For those of you who haven’t seen it, the movie follows an aging star who is on the cusp of her 50th birthday. She quickly learns that her time is up in Hollywood when she overhears an executive making demands for a younger star.
In Hollywood, the focus is always on young bodies, fresh faces and new talent and the machinery isn’t shy about putting their stars out to pasture.
Anyway, Moore’s character, takes a mystery injectable “substance” to get a life and career do over with a much fitter, fresher, younger body.
But, things don’t go as planned and “the substance” comes with some insane consequences.
After I shut off the TV, I couldn’t shake off some of the movie’s themes – that once you’ve reached a certain age, you lose your beauty, your sexiness – your usefulness.
I actually started to feel sorry for some of the celebrities in Hollywood. Despite their immense talent, many of them are quickly discarded for a brand new shinier model the minute gray hairs start to show or their skin starts to sag.
Anti-Aging Is “Genocide On Natural Beauty”
During an interview on the Drew Barrymore Show, Hollywood legend, Jamie Lee Curtis, called anti-aging, a “genocide on natural beauty.”
Curtis, who made the decision many decades ago to age gracefully, took the beauty industry to task for its marketing of products designed to erase or reverse the signs of aging.
Barrymore, who has made no secret of her decision to age naturally, noted that she has an addictive personality and is afraid of starting any type of treatment.
She said while she wouldn’t absolutely rule out having some sort of work done in the future, it’s not a priority because she has seen the consequences.
Going To Extreme Lengths To Stay Young
Women and men around the world, looking to stave off Father Time, have resorted to Botox, plastic surgery, hair transplants, lip fillers and veneers to maintain their youthful appearance.
The results aren’t always favourable. In fact, some of it ends up looking grotesque.
The intense pressure to look like or compete with a 20-year-old has many men and women shelling out thousands of dollars for a temporary fix.
I say it’s temporary because no amount of money, workouts, supplements or Botox is ever going to make a 60-year-old look 20. And why do they even want to anyway?
People should be embracing aging and all the beauty that comes with it rather than trying to remain locked in their youth.
But, the reason so many aren’t embracing aging is because society makes them feel bad about their earned fine lines and wrinkles.
Society tells us we’re not good enough anymore or even wanted. Who wants to feel like that?
How Ageism Affects All Of Us
You never age. How many of you have said that to someone you know who looks good or about a celebrity who still looks good despite the passage of time. You never age.
We put a lot of pressure on celebrities to look good.
They can be 60, but they can’t look it. They can have a baby, but shouldn’t look like they did.
We want them to look fit, perky, with smooth skin no matter what they’re going through.
Basically, we don’t want them to age. When they do, we’re quick to say they fell off.
Ageism affects our minds because, again, it tells us that we are not useful, worthy or desirable anymore.
Rather Than Embracing Aging, We Celebrate Avoiding It
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone online and seen articles comparing celebrities and the way they look today to the way they looked 20 years ago.
They do it all the time with singers, Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez and actress Halle Berry.
Articles happily point out that Beyoncé hasn’t aged much during her time in the spotlight. As if she would.
She’s 43.
She’s still in her youthful era. But, even Beyoncé would tell you she’s aged. She knows her body and I’m sure she inspects it regularly. She has aged.
Actress Nia Long recently talked about the pros and cons of being called an ageless beauty.
In an interview with People magazine she said, “I so appreciate the compliment, but, I have to tell you, there’s so much pressure in this industry to stay beautiful and to stay young. And I’m really not interested in leaning into this idea of perfection.”
“I am a proud 51, and eventually I’m going to age in a way where it’s obvious and I want it to happen beautifully and gracefully. I don’t really want the pressure of feeling like I have to be beautiful and perfect because I think beauty comes at any age.”
I agree with Long.
She’s hasn’t aged in a noticeable way just yet. But, when she does, I’m sure she doesn’t want to hear the media talking about it.
Men Also Deal With Body Insecurity Issues
Women aren’t the only ones shamed for aging.
Men are frequently mocked for losing muscle mass or going bald.
It’s gotten so bad that many balding men now opt for hair units or use Toppik hair spray to create a hairline.
Others have succumbed to the pressure of using steroids to build muscle or are colouring their hair to create a hairline.
Sadly, women also play a role in a lot of men’s insecurities.
We shame them for going bald. Tell them that they look old. Then, when they get hair units, we shame them for that, too.
Every man doesn’t want to shave off their hair entirely. It’s traumatising for them. Just like it would be for women if they started going bald.
We Need To Learn To Love Ourselves
Everyone changes. Everyone. While upkeep is great, obsessing over youth is not.
A 60-year-old man will never look 20, I don’t care how much Botox he has. He won’t. No one is going to mistake him for 20. Just like no one is going to mistake a 20-year-old for 60.
We have to really take the time and love ourselves and be grateful for what we see when we look in the mirror. Embracing aging is one way to start.
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