Don’t Be Defined By Your Yeses And Noes

By Rogan Smith |
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Rogan Smith - Marina Village, Paradise Island, Bahamas

How many times have you heard no or been turned down for something you really wanted and immediately felt like a failure or like you weren’t good enough?

How many times have you had a lot of success, won every award that you were nominated for, accomplished everything you wrote down on paper to the point where you started to feel invincible?

The reality is, no matter how successful we are, none of us is going to hit a home run every time. There will be moments where we fail or feel disappointment. And no matter how many times we hear no, it is not an indictment on us and does not predict future outcomes.

I’ll admit, if you win a lot, it’s difficult to think you’re not going to continue winning. Look at the amount of celebrities who have experienced fame and all of the trappings that come along with it. They start to believe their own hype and believe they cannot fail.

What they don’t realise is fame is fleeting and there’s always someone shinier who is going to emerge and take their place. They allowed themselves to be defined by their success, their money, their fame. When they lose it, it’s catastrophic for them.

I think it’s important to get comfortable with losses. I’m not advocating that we become friends with losing, but when we’re comfortable with it, we don’t feel devastated when we don’t get our way.

At the same time, losing allows us to try even harder, or try something new to help us reach our goals.

During my career, I have had a number of highlights and lowlights. I have been nominated for more awards than I have won. I never get upset when I lose. I recalibrate, figuring that I have to do more work or do things differently.

I think that is a positive attitude to have. Likewise, when I experience success, I never let it go to my head or think I will always win. That’s not a wise thought process. Besides, sometimes you have to lose to win.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: our noes don’t define us, just like our yeses don’t define us.

XOXO,

This Bahamian Gyal

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